


If they only knew

by TheTrashiestQueen



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fluff, M/M, SO MUCH FLUFF, Seamus is jealous, They are so in love damn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2019-01-30 00:20:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12642264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheTrashiestQueen/pseuds/TheTrashiestQueen
Summary: Seamus is jealous, he wants to be the one to kiss Dean.





	If they only knew

**Author's Note:**

> Lightly based on the song “if they only knew” (hence the title hehe I’m creative) by Alfie Arcuri, but I got carried away with it.

It never felt like third wheeling. She was a mutual friend after all. Sure when they got all lovey and sappy, he looked away slightly uncomfortable. But no one liked seeing their best friend kissing with someone, it was just awkward. It wasn't like Seamus didn't like Dean's girlfriend, she was great and gorgeous, Dean was great and gorgeous, they were almost perfect together. Still, Seamus liked it better when it was just the two of them, probably because he was greedy when it came to Dean. He was greedy for Dean's time and now he had to share. All his greediness aside, he was happy that Dean was happy.

Seamus also was a liar. Maybe not a liar, that sounded too harsh. It was all true, just not the whole truth.

He was jealous, incredibly jealous. Sure, Dean's happiness made him happy, but Seamus could've been the one to make him happy. Sure, she was great and they fit each other nicely, but Seamus would've been even more perfect for Dean. He didn't like to see his best friend kiss people, cause he wanted to be the one who Dean kissed. 

He knew everything about Dean, the good, the bad, and all of it just made Seamus love Dean more and more. They've been through everything together, kept each other safe.

Seamus' love for Dean was crushing, overwhelming, made his heart race slightly like he was about to have a panic attack. And then there was Dean himself, who calmed everything down and he was comforting and everything felt warm and fuzzy around him. Seamus didn't have the right words to describe Dean, no one could possibly have those words. 

Oh, if they only knew. No one knew. He had never told anyone. He always thought his feelings for Dean were extremely obvious to anyone who saw the way Seamus looked at Dean, he had never been good at hiding his emotions. But no one ever mentioned anything about it, and he knew Dean would've said something about it if he knew. Dean was a guy who handled his 'problems' head on, so if he had noticed Seamus crushing on him, and he didn't feel the same way he would've said so. Also if he knew Seamus liked him, he wouldn't invite Seamus so often when he was also hanging out with his girl, cause that'd be just weird.

Still, it didn't feel like he was the third wheel. Dean always made sure everyone was involved and everyone was having fun. And Seamus took every opportunity to spend time with Dean, it didn't matter that his girlfriend was there too.

Dean's girlfriend was out of town tonight and it provided Seamus with the chance to have Dean all to himself. Tonight it'd be just them and Seamus was giddy. They hadn't planned anything special, they'd just hit town and see where they would end up. 

Seamus arrived at the place they decided to meet and Dean was already waving him over. "I've been waiting for you, for like forever." 

"No, no, I'm sure I left on time." He got up into Dean's personal space to look at his watch. He wasn't very punctual and Dean loved to tease him about it. He was right on time, early even for his doing. 

Dean laughed. "Alright, alright, you got me." He put his arm around Seamus' shoulder and they started walking down the quiet street. Dean was one of those affectionate, touchy friends and Seamus obviously didn't mind. "I was thinking we can get some hamburgers or something. I'd take you to a fancy restaurant but I kinda got a fast food budget." 

"I love fast food, it's my favourite." Seamus may have said it a bit jokingly. He honestly didn't care they were gonna eat, he wasn't a picky eater. 

"I totally knew that." He smirked and squeezed Seamus' shoulder "That's why I'm treating you on some chicken nuggets" 

"You know I'm a hoe for chicken   
nuggets." 

In Seamus' eyes Dean just seamed to glow with everything he said and Seamus was always a giggling mess around Dean. It's like he was a high school girl with a crush, and he actually was, except the 'high school girl' part and maybe more than just the average crush.

They ordered their food and went outside to sit on the terrace. Dean had a hamburger and fries and Seamus had his gigantic box of chicken nuggets. Dean shoved a couple of fries in his mouth before he started talking again. "So I was thinking maybe we could go to that new bar close by, get some drinks, I heard it's really laid back. Or we could go to the arcade, if you're up for it." 

"Ooh yes, I've been wanting to go to there." Seamus was excited, Dean could've proposed to sit on a bench all night and he would've been excited, cause he knows he would've had fun even if they'd sit quietly next to each other. Although, Dean was creative, always had the best ideas of what to do. "But I've also been practicing. I think I'm finally ready..." He took a dramatic pause. "To beat you at air hockey."

Dean laughed. "Maybe we should test that." He hummed. "I have the perfect plan. We'll go to the bar and if you're not tired yet we'll go to the arcade." 

"Deal." 

They finished their food and started walking. "You walked from home, right?" Dean asked.

"Yeah it's like a five minute stroll." 

They were waking back to their meeting spot. "I took my bicycle, cause I'm lazy I guess." Dean shrugged. "You can jump on the back. The bar is a small fifteen minute bike ride away." 

Seamus certainly didn't mind that. 

They got up on Dean's bike. They rode in a comfortable silence as they couldn't talk much with the roaring wind in their ears. Seamus lay his head on the taller boy's back he wanted to wrap his arms around Dean's waist but decided that would be a bit much, so he just held the luggage rack he was sitting on. 

They parked the bike on the other side of the street. Making their way across the street they made sure to avoid the one rowdy drunk on the sidewalk, and stepped through the doorway. Seamus glanced around, there were mostly relatively young people around their twenties, like them. Some were mingling at the booths and tables and others were dancing to the soft music at the back of the bar. 

Dean appeared at his side and Seamus offered to get some drinks but Dean said he was already on his way and quickly disappeared. Seamus smiled and weaved his way through the bar to a table close to the wall. 

"Here." Dean was already back, putting Seamus' drink in front of him and holding on to his own while he sat down. "To us." He raised the glass a bit and smiled at Seamus.

Seamus smiled back and also raised his glass with sweet smelling liquid. "To us." He took a sip, it was as sweet as it smelled, he wasn't even sure what it was but Dean sure knew what he liked. 

Dean swept his gaze across the dancing crowd. "Oh my lord, Seamus, look. It's Harry dancing his ass off right there." 

"What! Where?" He quickly turned around to following the direction Dean was pointing at, squinting his eyes as if that would somehow reveal Harry in the crowd.

"Just kidding." Dean smirked and Seamus looked at him betrayed. "But you know what we should do? We should dance." 

Dean was already standing up. "Are you already drunk?" Seamus laughed, kinda scared that he'd actually had to dance.

"I gotta admit that drink was a bit stronger than expected. The name sounded cool, not sure what it was... But I'm not drunk, I promise, I mean it was only one drink, I'm not that much of a lightweight. Come, Come." Dean was talking quite fast with an excited smile plastered on his face.

"Hold up, I don't really..." It wasn't that he didn't like dancing or that he was scared of embarrassing himself. The prospect of dancing with Dean, it just somehow made him nervous. "What about your girlf-" 

"She won't mind, I'm dancing with you, not a stranger. And it's just dancing." Dean interrupted him. "Now come on." Dean shimmied away backwards like he was already dancing, his hands motioning for Seamus to come. 

Seamus stood up despite himself and sighed though it lacked bite and sincerity. "Fineeee, we're dancing. One song." Dean grabbed his wrist and slightly swinging took Seamus to the dance floor. 

The lights were slightly dimmed and Dean looked a bit dazed as he gazed at Seamus and a smirk slowly crept on his face. He swayed and rolled his body to the rhythm of the music. Dean was great at this, he danced as if he was made to dance, all energetic and moving his body in a graceless pattern that somehow still looked attractive. He alternated between stepping back to give Seamus space and moving in close. Seamus tried, and failed, to ignore the tight feeling in his chest. 

There wasn't much to be said about Seamus' own dancing skills. He managed to keep up with the beat, more or less. 

One song turned into two and two turned into Seamus losing track, and he didn't really mind, his nerves were gone and he was having fun. 

Dean eventually had to drag Seamus of the dance ground. "Go sit, I'll get us another drink." 

"Why won't you ever let me get us anything?" Seamus whined. He couldn't lie he liked being taken care of, but he still felt like he should pay Dean back somehow.

Dean already started to turn around. "It feels better when I do it." He left before Seamus could protest more. Seamus grumbled, he always does that.

Dean returned. "You got the same drink?" Seamus laughed. "You already got almost tipsy from one." 

He simply shrugged. "It's spicy, I like it." He took a sip. "So, you still up to beat me at that game of air hockey? Or shall I deliver you back home, on my gracious stallion, like a true gentleman?" 

Seamus laughed, gracious stallion, sure mate. "I'm up, if you're not scared, of course."

He scoffed. "Me? Scared? Never." He threw back the rest of his drink and Seamus felt encouraged to do the same. "Lets go."

It was pitch black outside, he wondered how long they had been in there, he didn't even know what time it was. Not that it mattered. He was on the back of Dean's bike again and felt the urge to laugh bubble up out of nowhere.

They arrived at the arcade to brightly coloured neon lights and the notorious clink of coin slots. They walked through the big open doors and straight to the air hockey tables. Dean plopped in one of the coins they got beforehand, into the free air hockey table. "Ready to lose?" He chucked the puck to Seamus.

"Not today." 

They played the game. Lame jokes and the occasional "not fair" could be heard. 0-0 became 1-0 and that turned into 2-0 and after that 3-0. They weren't really competitive, but enough to want to win. 

But in the end, Seamus didn't win, he lost 7-1 and the one point was probably Dean taking pity. It didn't matter, Dean was just way better with his hands. 

"You can't beat the air hockey king." Seamus forced a pout. "Alright, alright, let's play some other games together, teamwork, so I won't have to be scared of losing." Dean always had the best way of saying things. 

"Did you have fun?" Seamus nodded energetic. The were walking back to Dean's bike. They hadn't noticed the time and it was closer to morning than midnight. "Shall I ride you home?" 

"Nah, I'll walk, it's close by." He felt hot, he could probably use a walk to clear his head. 

"Alright, goodnight then I guess. I'll see you soon probably."

"Yes." It was like his brain wasn't functioning properly, 'yes', really Seamus? 

They stood in silence for a moment, but then Seamus did the most stupid thing he'd ever done. He smashed his lips against Dean's before he realised what he was doing. His eyes shot open and he quickly pulled away. "Sorry. That was dumb. That was dumb." He saw a mix between shock and probably disgust on Dean's face. He quickly turned away and started walking real fast, taking the first turn even though that wasn't the one he was supposed to take.

Fuck. What has he done. What was he thinking, no he wasn't thinking. Dean has a girlfriend, Dean is straight, Dean is his best friend, what the fuck Seamus

He ignored the buzzing of his phone, it must be Dean. He was probably angry and wanted to talk about what happened. Seamus wasn't ready to talk, what was he supposed to say? "I've been in love with you since two days after I met you", he couldn't just say that. 

It wasn't until the next day that he looked at his phone. He had a missed call and a text.

"We should talk. Meet me at the park?" 

It was a text from Dean, of course. He knew he couldn't ignore Dean forever, even though it had only been one day. Did Dean know meeting him after what happened made Seamus feel nauseous? He responded in agreement to the text. He didn't want to ruin the friendship like this, they could salvage this, right? 

"Hi." This was awkward. His voice felt weird and Seamus didn't know where to look or what to do with his body. He should bring up what happened immediately, say sorry, but the words just didn’t come. 

Dean didn't look angry, that was at least a good thing. "Hey. Let's sit." They sat next to each other on one of the benches. "So, about what happened..." 

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to happen, it just-I wasn't thinking." He started rambling and he felt like he could cry at any given moment. 

"It's okay don't worry about it." He seemed to hesitate. "But why? Was it just like an accident? Or... I don't know, help me out Seamus." He didn't really seem upset just confused.

It was silent for a moment. Should Seamus tell the truth? "I, uh-" Dean deserved to know, but he was afraid Dean wouldn't be comfortable hanging out with him anymore, and then they’d stop being friends and that’d be the most awful thing ever. But he couldn’t just keep it secret forever either. He slowed his breathing to calm his racing heart. Here goes nothing. “I really like you, in a more than friends way. But I know you don’t see me like that and that’s okay. W-.” 

“Can I kiss you?”

“What?” Seamus felt his face heat up. Dean must be fucking with him.

“Can I?” Dean looked sincere and Seamus felt himself nodding despite himself. Dean’s hand warm and gentle on his cheek held him steady and Dean leaned in to softly press his lips against Seamus’. It was a grin against his lips, not much more, but Seamus had never felt giddier or more confused in his life. Dean let out a soft content sigh as he pulled away. “God, I- we are stupid.” 

“I don’t understand.” 

“I like you. I like you so much, Seamus.” Dean smiled all wide mouth and crinkled eyes and it was contagious. “I’ve liked you for so long.”

“But you’ve got a girlfriend...” Sure, Seamus was ecstatic, but he wouldn’t take Dean away if they loved each other, he couldn’t do that.

“She likes someone else, and I do too. We got together because we had fun and to see if the one we actually had feelings for would get jealous. It was a win-win situation. But one text and it’s over between us, she’d be so happy if I tell her we got together.”

Seamus felt kinda played, but he had to admit that it was smart. Is that why the couple always invited him to spend time with them? Damn they were geniuses. He just sat in a stunned silence, trying to process everything he just got told.

“I really do like you.” Dean took his hand. “And I wanna be with you, if that’s also what you want.” 

And Seamus-just as he had wanted from the moment he met Dean in that train, to the moment when Dean had so much as looked in his direction ever since, to the moment he felt that raging jealousy, to the moment they had that accidental kiss- leaned forward to kiss him with full confidence now. And this, this was something different altogether.

**Author's Note:**

> All mistakes are mine, I haven’t read this over yet. If you liked it or if you’ve got any way for me to improve, let me know! 
> 
> Also, this was for my dear darling, love me pls.


End file.
